This morning I read a statement that lit up all the lights on my buzzer board. It read;
“No expectations just friendship and love. I am MY stability…Not the people around me.”
After a conversation I had with a very depressed friend who mentioned her concern that I would just leave our friendship, it was potent. In my typical blatant honesty, I will say that I had considered it before she mentioned it but had decided to stick around, as she wasn’t breaking off our friendship but only (non-verbally, before our conversation) asking for space. I am very able to give space for personal growth. I understand that drive.
On a personal level, I have been watching yet another great shift of people in my life who I am close to and, yes, mourning the instability of relationships with people I had imagined would be a part of my life for a great deal longer. Yes, I will even admit to internalizing the losses as personal failures. Reading the statement about being my OWN stability echoed a small voice that had broken the tirade and asked “why? How is this different than any relationship with lovers? People come, people go, but instead of mourning their “go”, why not just enjoy the time in between?” I think I might be getting the hang of this.