There’s a man. He is attractive, single, poly, creative but has self-discipline. We share kinks, we share musical tastes, we have a lot in common and just enough different to make it spicy. He’s attracted to both Jae and I. He lives on the other side of the continent.
Warning bells echo around my heart, not in a creeper kind of a way, but in a “other shoe drop” kind of way. I’m okay with that. I could say I’m grateful for that. I like that I am establishing boundaries, keeping my eye on the joy of the here and now and able to treat this fellow with the respect of a thinking, feeling human being that he is and not an anonymous flirt-bot.
There are many other changes happening in my life that evolve around establishing a career path with long-term stability. Which is neither here nor there, but part of the over-positive joy that’s kinda radiating through my life right now.
Large pockets of my life are filled with uncertainty and anxiety. I think that’s what makes this warm and positive social/relational/familial counterpoint especially poignant.
There’s a different man. He’s also physically attractive. He’s sweet, proud, bright, hard-working, poly and gives me the case of the happy as I’ve recently decided to stop road-blocking the relationship. We (he and I and Jae and I ) had an honest conversation regarding reservations. He has been a gentleman the entire time we’ve been chatting with him, it’s been over a year. Surrounding circumstances are just different enough to where I feel capable of really building an emotional rapport with him.
There’s a woman. She’s beautiful and sweet. She’s in the process of this crazy re-birth. She makes my heart flutter and my rage explode. Every day she shows her devotion to me through hot coffee strong enough to melt a spoon. In the ways she holds our babies close. In the random moments she does something overtly silly and unexpected. She’s earned my respect, kept me on my toes, captured my heart and we’re considering throwing a party of re-dedication near the date of her legal name change and updated legal paperwork. These queer women can’t wait to throw a great shindig!
One contribution to these different relationships have been honesty and an independent streak. Everyone checks in once a day or once every other day. Our conversation times differ and it’s okay to sign off. We’re all adults with lives and everyone has been respectful of that . I know how over-simplified that is…maybe. I dunno, I’m a happy heathen. I’m as curious by it as I am by the strongly negative aspects.and grateful for it all.