inside this cycle


I’m including a concept map that I designed today for my psychology class.  I didn’t intend to put so much time into designing it, it just turned into a really theraputic exercise, which is not the point, but I enjoyed it anyway.

In an effort to keep dogged pursuit towards helping make gardens a value of this city, I am following leads towards state-level  and city-level groups that are working towards a comprehensive greening of the city. I love it all, which is why it’s hard for me to concentrate long enough to put real effort towards one cause. I’m seeing this really interesting path unfold. This education piece is what I feel I’ve been missing from the start. Silly me. I plan on taking story telling classess, too.

If I metaphorically look at the big picture of what I am trying to accomplish, for longer than a moment, I become dizzy with the weight of what I want to see happen. So, I try to keep my mind in tune with the big picture, but my eyes on a much closer focal point.  I tune out when folks say “There’s no way (this act) can…”

I’m just asking questions, taking notes and following leads until I can find all the pieces that will make it easy for me to see where we can chip away at corners. I’m all about growing the edges and finding a balance.

The figs are the first ripened on the tree. I finally hit a jackpot, third year in, where I got to the fruit before the wasps and birds. I’m so excited! I’m sure my classmates will also appreciate some fresh produce.

I’m feeling some changes in hormones or chemicals of some description. Or maybe it’s just the heat of summer afternoons. Either way, I’m trying to keep myself occupied with what’s right in front of me so that I don’t pursue a relationship that is likely a dead-end. Poor wife, she laughs at me and sympathises, which is what I need. I will not lie, I definitely let day dreams happen, because I am adulting on a  saint-like level and that masochistic streak is enjoying squirming…just a bit. Wrapped through it all, I am on the gratitude side of the cycle, so that’s a win. I’m ready for some positive changes.


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