Transparency

 

*rubs forehead* I’m feeling rough, friends. I am in a good mood. I’d dare call this emotional state “happy”. It shares a space with “emotionally exhausted”, but like a freight train, I see an end result I am attracted to, and I am driven to manifest it.  I feel like I zigged only to ought to have zagged.

Google is my personal assistant and that weighs heavily on my mind. I mean, my life is not exactly highly attractive (from a cold, impersonal, point-of-view), but Malice isn’t particularly picky.

I love working with kids – I’m seeking safe and family-centric ways to balance the stress of the job. The difficulty lies in that our kids are /finally/ starting to sleep in a normal, kid-typical fashion (*crosses fingers*) So, obligations keep me out of the home. They do not doubt my love for them, but they learn to rely on me less by my absence and that is painful, but a proud process.

.Jae has been particularly involved and attentive since our melt-down. I’ve snapped once or twice, back to old patterns. I hate it when I hurt her. We’re practicing a lot of forgiveness and tenderness. She gives me a lot of refuel time. That’s pretty crazy priceless. We are working on finding ways to refill her cup.

Jae has been particularly involved and attentive since our melt-down. I’ve snapped once or twice, back to old patterns. I hate it when I hurt her. We’re practicing a lot of forgiveness and tenderness. She gives me a lot of refuel time. That’s pretty crazy priceless. We are working on finding ways to refill her cup.

Sorry for the mad scramble of topics, I’m just processing a lot of big feelings.

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