I’ve been crying a lot. A lot of time has been spent processing through hurt and the harm that had built up like plaque between two teeth. There does not seem to be a timestamp on the hurt or harm. There isn’t much in the way of attached memories. These feelings just rise up and […]Read more "Somehow"
I went caroling. On my way downtown I consciously asked the question; What does success look like tonight? Because The NorthWest is notorious for rsvping and not showing. Life happens, this is not a judgement, but it leads social creatures to many sad nights. At least those who persist in organizing public events. (I’m sending […]Read more "Winter Break"
I seem to really get into dubstep when I’m low. The lyrics can be insightful. I am overwhelmed. Not by the amount of work I have to do, but by the ambiguity of the end product that’s being requested. ookay, and the sheer amount of work that requires a fairly controlled timeline of completion, which […]Read more "Take Me Home"
I’m at the beginning of a brand new emotional-cycle. It’s not unlike sitting in that suspended bubble of time, on the top of the roller-coaster. Edging along the boundaries of ignorance and sadness. I remember feeling this way last year. Gawlly, has it been a year?! So much has changed and so much is exactly […]Read more "Forward"
I’m furious that my house is dirty. I’m furious that I don’t have a dishwasher and the dishes seem to be a never ending pile on the tiny fucking counters. I’m furious that my children have no concept of “too far”. I’m furious that no one knows how to respect my fucking boundaries, including my […]Read more "Every Little Thing"
The layer of mud had gotten so out of hand, her boots cracked deep and dark with every step she took across the industrial landscape. The floods had finally receeded, after a five week storm had drown most of the winter landscape in warm waters. Communication with folks further than 100 miles was difficult, at […]Read more "figs and maps"
I feel so tired and that seems impossible; my rational self bumping uglies against my emotional self. I feel naive and ancient and entirely too curious for my own good. Why do I feel like an imposter passing as an adult? Writing this blog? living this life? It’s my life. I’ve studied hard to be […]Read more "Numbness"