figs and maps

The layer of mud had gotten so out of hand, her boots cracked deep and dark with every step she took across the industrial landscape. The floods had finally receeded, after a five week storm had drown most of the winter landscape in warm waters. Communication with folks further than 100 miles was difficult, at […]

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Numbness

I feel so tired and that seems impossible; my rational self bumping uglies against my emotional self.  I feel naive and ancient and entirely too curious for my own good. Why do I feel like an imposter passing as an adult? Writing this blog? living this life? It’s my life. I’ve studied hard to be […]

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Sand In Time

{And the Republic Will Fall} There’s a fear of the unknown that is so deeply ingrained into our psyche. Along side this is the fear that we are being “played for a fool”. At least in some of the observations I’ve made. In pursuing curiousity around the Fool’s Journey, I am certainly feeling like a […]

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Rubbing it in

I spent a few hours in my garden mowing down the lawn and clearing out weeds. As is my habit, once I finished I showered to scrub the grime off. It occured to me in my shower that I always end my time in the garden in better spirits. Sometimes I find new little plant […]

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Asking, for a friend….

Today I went to an interview with a university program – I answered the four or five questions the interviewer had for me, and then asked an additional 45 minutes of him, trying to eek out exactly what the parameters of the program are and how I can be most successful in maintaining the delicate […]

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Shadow Work

My wife and I spent a week hashing out the darkest pieces of our relationship. Yelling, ugly-crying and defining the “same old shit” so that it took on new meaning that made each of us look at each other more clearly. We came to the conclusion that we have harmed one another as only lovers […]

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Spread Thin

  ‘Tell me I still look pretty.” The truth is, I look worn out and feel ….much worse. I made an effort to practice self-care and at least I feel clean, soft and smooth. The mental health professional (mhp) has been a good idea. I’ve got some tangible goals regarding physical health and career and […]

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