Somehow

I’ve been crying a lot. A lot of time has been spent processing through hurt and the harm that had built up like plaque between two teeth.  There does not seem to be a timestamp on the hurt or harm. There isn’t much in the way of attached memories. These feelings just rise up and […]

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I’m all growed out

I’ve been on a personal growth route, spurred by lifelong conditioning and innate competitiveness with my heterosexual life partner. I don’t even know if she ever competes with me….I’ll have to ask her. I digress. I have learned many things in my first year teaching preschool. I have learned to stop fearing the worst and […]

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figs and maps

The layer of mud had gotten so out of hand, her boots cracked deep and dark with every step she took across the industrial landscape. The floods had finally receeded, after a five week storm had drown most of the winter landscape in warm waters. Communication with folks further than 100 miles was difficult, at […]

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Numbness

I feel so tired and that seems impossible; my rational self bumping uglies against my emotional self.  I feel naive and ancient and entirely too curious for my own good. Why do I feel like an imposter passing as an adult? Writing this blog? living this life? It’s my life. I’ve studied hard to be […]

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Sand In Time

{And the Republic Will Fall} There’s a fear of the unknown that is so deeply ingrained into our psyche. Along side this is the fear that we are being “played for a fool”. At least in some of the observations I’ve made. In pursuing curiousity around the Fool’s Journey, I am certainly feeling like a […]

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Rubbing it in

I spent a few hours in my garden mowing down the lawn and clearing out weeds. As is my habit, once I finished I showered to scrub the grime off. It occured to me in my shower that I always end my time in the garden in better spirits. Sometimes I find new little plant […]

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Asking, for a friend….

Today I went to an interview with a university program – I answered the four or five questions the interviewer had for me, and then asked an additional 45 minutes of him, trying to eek out exactly what the parameters of the program are and how I can be most successful in maintaining the delicate […]

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