The way it “happens”

I have been contemplating joining a gym for quite awhile, but gunshy, because …of all the usual reasons/excuses/life.  Today I stopped in and joined a gym. It’s got the shiny new look/feel of a brand new business. I’m hoping it stays on that level. The members were following directions and wiping down the equipment. That’s […]

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Shadow Work

My wife and I spent a week hashing out the darkest pieces of our relationship. Yelling, ugly-crying and defining the “same old shit” so that it took on new meaning that made each of us look at each other more clearly. We came to the conclusion that we have harmed one another as only lovers […]

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11:1-

Each day seems filled with emotional peaks and valleys that happen so swiftly, I can’t blink or I end up gasping for air. Vulgarity and dark humor are the last defense of a desperately caring soul. Am I really misfiring? That’s a question. Or, am I healthily reacting to the stimuli in my environment. I […]

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Blood in the Cut

I have public services healthcare. I cannot find a provider. I am having anxiety to a point where I cannot breathe. I can see that it’s an overreaction. or…What to do? I don’t want to involve my family. I need to be here to keep things moving forward. I have no idea what “crisis” actually […]

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Spread Thin

  ‘Tell me I still look pretty.” The truth is, I look worn out and feel ….much worse. I made an effort to practice self-care and at least I feel clean, soft and smooth. The mental health professional (mhp) has been a good idea. I’ve got some tangible goals regarding physical health and career and […]

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subjected

  I get stuck. the same cycle of thoughts. the same dark spaces. the same brain-crashing questions about what is real, what is the point. what does it mean. i doubt everything i think. i doubt my legitimacy in everything i do. once upon a time i was diagnosed with bipolar and add but i […]

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